RL sorta journal - ignore if you're not interested.
So, I've kinda hit a point that I'm not happy. I've got a lot on my plate at the moment (who doesn't!) and I'm just a bit spread-too-thin.
I'm not going to be able to enter into the Nordanner RPG event. I'm gutted about it but I can't do it. Everytime I open up Photoshop, I sit there staring at the page and just can't DO anything. It bums me out :/ Been trying to pull something together since just before the extension was given. I think it was extremely thoughtful and courteous of Cloud (et. al) to give an extension -I've seen a whole bunch of beautiful art go through since then and I expect even more will be created during the event. I want to publicly state that it's not down to the group, mods or anybody in particular, it's just come at the wrong time for me and I can't participate.
There's a list of stuff with deadlines that I need to do but right at the top of it are 2 far more pressing things that need taking care of.
The first is my uni work. That needs more focus than it's been getting, the work's getting more intensive and the experiments more involving. It's becoming something that I can't "cram" for at the last moment (regardless of how lucky I've been).
The second is getting a job. I live with my fiancé and we *just* make ends meet every month. We need to move out of this place - it's too small and too cramped by the fact the 'in-laws' live less than 5 minutes walk away - it's beginning to impact our relationship and it's taking its toll on my mental health.
In order to do that, I need to get a job so we have enough income to pay for a larger place (we pay rent here, it's not free).
There's a job coming up at the end of May and I need to be ready for that - there's no guarantee I'll get it but it's looking promising.
I just need to reprioritise my life a bit and sadly, as wonderful as it's been having art and this little slice of the community I've managed to entrench myself in, it doesn't pay the bills and the bills trump the art/community participation/presence - as shitty as that might sound.
I just wanted to give you all a heads-up to let you know what's going on with me, why there's been no art in the last 2 weeks and why there's likely going to be a marked reduction in the frequency of further art. I will get things that I owe done, I just ask that you're patient with me and understand why I've made this change.